The last few weeks have been so amazing that i can barely put them into words. Filled with sorrow, and joys, it is defiantly a time that will carry with me for a long time. If i wasn't before, i am now a strong believe in miracles.
The big promotion i was hoping for never came. We were both extremely crestfallen because that meant we must continue to wait to have a child. However, our hopes had to be put to rest for awhile when my dear wife's father died. We were watching a movie together, and she was throwing popcorn at me when I wasn't looking when the telephone rang. I had my hands full with remvoing popcorn from of my hair so she decided to answer the phone. I could tell by the way she said hello that it was somone she was happy to see, i assumed her mother, or a friend, and just went on watching the movie expecting to watch the reaminder by myself, while she talked on the phone in the kitchen. About ten minutes later, she come back into the room, and i prepared to return the favor of the popcorn being placed in my hair when i notice the tears coursing down her face. Never before had i seen her so sad and pained. I immediatly got up and put my arms around her and she went to peices. I gently combed the har from her face, and sat her down on the sofa, while turning the movie off. I took her face in my hands and very gently dried her tears with a tissue and asked her what was wrong. Between bouts of sobbing she told me that it was her mother on the phone, and that earlier that day, her father had a massive heart attack. He was in a critical condition, and not expected to live through the night. I immediatly grabbed the car keys and my wife and went to the car. We sped out for the city, and since we had just recently moved here so that she could be closer to her family, i was not familiar with the area. My wife was too upset to give me directions, so i grabbed the cellular phone from the glove box, and searched through to address book until i came to her mothers telephone number and prayed that she was at home, which, come to think of it now, was a very illogical thought. No one picked up at home, and i turned the phone off just as i saw the flashing lights in my mirror. i pulled to side of the highway, and as the officer approached, i wondered how fast i really was going. He informed me that i was speeding, and asked to see my liscense and registration, and asked why i was going to so fast. I explained it to him, and my wife in tears next to me seemed to confirm for him what i was saying. He asked if i wanted an escort and i gladly agreed. when we arrived at the hospital, i thanked the officer, and i'm sure that my poor wife would have too if she was able to speak more than a few words between fits of crying. The nurse at the reception desk informed us of where her father was, and we rushed to the 4th floor to see him. We were met by her mother and her sister, who were both very surprised to see us. It is normally a three hour drive, and it couldn't have been more than an hour and a half since we had received the call. the three of them hugged each other, and i noticed that my wife had calmed down now that she was around her family. I let her go i to see her father alone, because i'm sure there were things that she wanted to say to him even though he was in a coma. I grabbed a doctor and asked him if he knew how long her father was expected to live, and he replied that he was very surprised that he was still with us now. Suddenly alarms started going off from the room, and we were all ushered to the lobby. We waited in the waiting room for what seemed like forever, my wife pale and dry eyed nex to me, and her mother and sister talking quietly in few seats beyond us. We all knew that it was very unlikely that he was going to pull through the emergency bypass surgery. Eventually, the doctor walked into the room, stolid faced and said that he didn't make it. We all quietly cried for the great father and husband that had just departed from us. After much insisting, my mother-in-law finally convinced my wife to let me take her home.
The drive home seemd to last forever, i cannot begin to imagine how long it must have lasted for my dear wife. She had moved as far left as she could in her seat, and rested her head on my my shoulder, and i held her hand. We remained like that for the entire length of the ride. Both of us reamining quiet, thinking about her father. After a seeming eternity, we arrived home, and my wife, tired from the whole evening had fallen asleep. I quietly and with the utmost gentlness, carried her into the house, up the stairs, and gently placed her on the bed. I also being tired joined her without taking the time to change clothes, just removing my shoes and climbing in next to her. I placed my arms around her and fell asleep quickly.
The funeral was beautiful. A very good friend of her mother and father's gave the eulogy, and many people shared stories and feelings. Her sister asked me to say a few words or tell a favorite memory about her father. I spoke about the night that i asked him for his daughters hand in marriage. I spoke of how lovingly he talked about his daughters and wife, and told me of his wedding, and gave me his blessing to have a good life with his daughter. How a man with such an intimdating apperance, could be so soft and loving at heart. The majority of the room was teary eyed when i finished, me included. Many people thanked me, and i received a kiss from my wife. After the burial, i joined my wife, and the rest of her family and friends at her mothers house for a lunch and buffett. After everything was over, her mother insisted that we stay the night instead of making the long drive home. We gratefuly accepted.
The next day can only be described as a miracle. I went with my wife to the lawyers office for a reading of her father's will after she asked me to come, saying i was family and she was making me come even if she had to drag me. I didnd't give her a chance to see if there was actually any truth behind her threat to drag me and came i willingly along. I'm glad i did. Apparently her father was aware of our situation financially and our wanting of a child, and had, some year previous invested in 2 large savings bonds, that had by now, matured many times over. In the will he said that the bonds were to be used soley for the purpose of having a child. We were both totally overwhelmed and could do little more than just sit there in disbelief at what we had just heard.
That night we talked about this miraclulous gift from her father, and how we could use it. We decided that we could use one bond now, combined with the money in the savings account, we should have enough money to care for a baby and support it, while she would be on maternity leave from work. When she would have to go back to work, she would work nights, while i worked during the day. That way, she could care for the baby during the day, and i would take care of it in the evenings. Granted that would only gives us a few hours to ourselves and the baby each day, but we would have the weekends totally to ourselves. neither of us really wanted to make this sacrifice, but the thought of a baby, was too much, and we agreed to go for it.
The second miracle began the following monday. Over the weekend i ran through my head a plan to talk to my boss, about getting a raise. I diddn't talk it over with her, because i figured there was no need to get her hopes up in case i didn't get the raise. Monday morning i was very nervous approaching my boss. I explained to him the situation me and my wife were in. I told him that i deserved to get the raise, and that my work could back my claims. he told me that he would think about it, but not to get too hopeful. I tried not to think about it the rest of the week, but it was always there at the back of my mind. My wife could notice that something was bothering me, but i just said it was nervousness and excitement about the child. On thursday, just when i had given up all hope on the raise, i was in the shower and heard the phone ring. About five minutes later my wife walked in with a very puzzled look on her face. She said that my boss had just called, and all he said was to tell me that i got it. I'm surprised i didn't kill myself jumping in the shower. This little act further confused her, so i explained about the raise and everything. I hadn't seen her that happy in a long time. This raise meant that she will be able to stay home all the time with the child. Although we would have to cut back on some things, we could make it all posible. Friday morning i thanked my boss and told him how much this means to me. He just turned red and and said don't mention it while walking away. My wife notified her work that she may need to be taking off soon, she smiled so much and was so happy making that phone call. All of this has really helped her to overcome the death of her father a few weeks ago.
Our greatest joy came just two nights ago. I remember going to the store with her to pick up a few few odds and ends, and while going through the register, i noticed a pregnancy test box. My heart jumped in my chest and i looked over at her and she looked back and gave me a kiss.
On the drive home i asked her if she thought she was pregnant, and all she said was that she hoped so. I had a hard time sitting still in my seat as she drove home, and she could tell that i was nervous. She just laughed and said she diddn't know why i was so nervous, she's the one that was actually going to have the baby. That helped me to relax and made me laugh, i love her so much.
When we got home i helped to bring in the groceries. once inside i threatend that if she didnd't take the test right then, i was going to explode from the anxiety. She laughed and tried to make it sound like no big deal, but i could tell that she also wanted to take it. If we had not been watching television, both of would swear that more than just half an hour passed and the timer had brroken. Suddenly the timer went off, and i looked her and gave her a kiss. Both of us wanted to know the result, but neither of us could get up and go check to see what it was. Finally she took a deep sigh, and walked into the bathroom. I heard only silence, and after a few seconds of that, i joined her. Her back was to me, and i put my hand on her shoulder. She turned around with tears in her eyes, and i could not tell if they were from sadness or joy. It was then that i saw the indicator in her hand and knew what the tears were for. She was going to be a mother, and I a father. I gave her a hug, tears running down my face also. We whisperd "I Love You" in each other's ears, and decided that we should start making arrangments. First order of business, My wife called both our familys and gave the news, while i was at the hardware store picking up supplies for the babies room.
Tomorrow, or rather later today, we are going to decide on wallpaper or paint for the room. We need to pick something neutral however because we still don't know if it's a boy or a girl yet, the doctor says it is too soon to tell. We thought that waiting four years for a child was unbearable, and now that we are so close, i believe that these next eight and a half months are going to be torture. Her mother is insisting that we stay with her once the baby gets close to being born, so we will be near the hospital, and near family to help alleviate stress. Although it is still awhile until that day, we are thinking about taking her up on the offer. It will be nice have some help with the baby i think so soon after it is born, and i can hardly think of anyone better than an experianced mother.
I must now leave, and join my wife in sleep. I've sat here far too long and and late into the night, and i wish to be near her.